Making Room for One More: Hope and Need Adventures in friendship with a Syrian Refugee Woman
By: Georgia Coats
When the world around me seemingly swirls with hatred, anger and fear, and my heart is heavy for the hurting, my coping mechanism is to reminisce on stories of hope in the midst of great need. In my profession of language teaching, motivation is a key element for success. Motivation in life, as in language learning, contains two essential ingredients:
- You have to think you can do something: hope
- You have to think that it matters: need. In October I was reticent to click send on my article, Make Room for One More, because I knew that if I made my thoughts public, my own words would move me to action, and I wasn’t sure I had the capacity to skootch over in my daily life. The last thing I want to do in this refugee crisis is talk about doing something and then do nothing. The need was clear: I believed wholeheartedly that my small action to make a difference in one refugee’s life mattered; but I wasn’t sure I could actually do something about it on my own. That’s where hope is bigger than me. It requires me to believe that impossible things can happen in daily life.
“Hope is bigger than me. It requires me to believe that impossible things can happen in daily life.”
I said a prayer, and I found a moment in my hectic day to call my New American friend that I have endearingly nicknamed Zuzu. Zuzu and I had connected at the Sabeel Media Event in October, where she had expressed that she needed help finding a preschool for her son. I had already called at least eight Head Start preschool locations in her zip code before I got on the phone with Zuzu. I offered to come over the next day, take her to visit a preschool, and teach her some English. To my surprise, she told me NOT to come. She said that she had already found a preschool, that her family was moving to a better location, and that she was too busy right now for me to come visit with her. As it turned out, there was no room in her week for me, and it was clear that she was taking care of her needs on her own. She didn’t need my charity to survive, which made me even more determined than ever to get to know this highly motivated woman.
When things settled for Zuzu, I came by to see her new place. In her intermediate English she reported that she has signed up for English classes at the local college, she was studying for her driver’s permit, and she was in walking distance from most of the places she needed to get to each week. She has been in the U.S. since April and she is determined to settle her family here. Zuzu’s vision is bigger than she is. Her hope is deep. Her potential is great. Her work is humble. She walks her in-laws to the doctor, her son to preschool; she cooks and cleans and does the laundry for her household of six. At night when everything is quiet, she studies English and listens to audio messages I leave for her to practice each week. Zuzu’s not lazy. She doesn’t want to live indefinitely off of the kindness of others. On the contrary, she wants to be an agent of care and change and assistance to others. She also would like to go home if she could. But she can’t. So her plan is to bloom where she has currently been transplanted—right here in Dearborn, MI, USA.
“Her plan is to bloom where she has currently been transplanted—right here in Dearborn, MI, USA.”
From our visits together over the last five weeks I have learned that Zuzu is Syrian Kurdish. Her hope is seen in the languages she wants her kids to know: English of course, so they can thrive in their new community. Kurdish of course, because that is the language of heart and home. Arabic of course, because you can’t live in Syria and not know Arabic. She is preparing her son and her daughter to function in this new world, but also to be ready to return to her beloved home country…someday, Inshallah (God willing).
My first step in our mini English lessons, sitting on the floor of her upper flat on soft blankets against big couch pillows, sipping warm, sweet instant coffee with milk, was to identify her goals for learning English. We came up with five: 1. Help her mother and father-in-law with their medical issues, prescriptions, and paperwork
- Help her kids learn English.
- Go to college
- Talk about travel and places to visit
- Tell her personal history. She believes that learning English matters. She also clearly believes she can do it. Unless you’ve ever worked with someone that motivated to learn something, it’s difficult to describe how exhilarating it is. Her need is clear. Her desire is clear. She has hope for her future that is bigger than she is. And I have received the privilege of joining her venture.
As Zuzu and I continue to scoot in each week to make room for each other in our lives, we have found joy in the process. She has a vision to teach her downstairs neighbor, who speaks less English than she does. I brought my daughter to play language games with her little ones. She showed me another goal statement she had crafted late one night. It said this: I want to help refugees and orphans. I hope to be one assistant for all. And be successful in my life and my children the best education. That my goals.
“Together our hearts break for the displaced people of her country.”
As a writer, I want to carefully handle the stories entrusted to me. This last week, sipping our coffee, I pulled out the Yemeni American Newspaper and showed it to Zuzu. I explained to her the article I wrote last month, Make Room for One More, was inspired by her. I told her that in my heart I follow the teachings of Jesus the Messiah. He says to love others, and if I don’t do that, then I am not a very good follower. Zuzu and I share a vision of helping those in need. Together our hearts break for the displaced people of her country. I asked her if I could share her beautifully articulated goals because they inspire me, and I think they would inspire many. She agreed. I look forward to sharing more of our life’s hopes, goals, dreams and stories together as Zuzu’s English comprehension increases. My prayer is for all of us to experience a little of the impossible in our daily lives; to experience a hope that is bigger than the determination of any one human being—a collective and contagious courage. My prayer is for many more to get out of harm’s way and be welcomed into a safer place where hope can be nurtured.
~For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.~ The Prophet Jeremiah
